The things that matter most

Over the last few weeks, we have allowed our regular routine to be disrupted. You wouldn't suspect two people who are not quite middle-aged to be so set in our ways, but eons of getting up in time to make sure that not only both of us were ready, but that our boys were ready for school as well, leaves an indelible mark on one's circadian rhythms.

We jumped off of this schedule in order to share in an annual family reunion in some other part of the country, roughly equi-distant from all of us spread across the right half of the nation. We had fun, and it was remarkably good to see everyone, as always. It was diverting too. We take off work, and so, the regular morning shuffle to get the dogs out and fed, ourselves clean and fed and off to work on time, vanished.

After all too short a visit, some of the family came home with us, too and stayed with us for a few extra days. This not only gave a pleasant feeling of extension to the holiday, but it made for an opportunity to spend some real quality time with people that we love a lot. It is often difficult to spend a nice candid evening on the porch having a discussion among twenty people, though we tried.

And then, before we knew it, our family was on the move again, departing on the first of several legs to get home.

We were on the verge of settling back into our daily routine, when my wife's cousin called to say they would be coming back through from Florida and would we mind if they stayed. Of course not. Fate had managed, over the past few years, that we were in their neck of the woods each summer and suddenly, it was our chance to host them. With two wonderful kids and a sunny weekend, they made our weekend fun, happy and a wonderful memory.

Suddenly, however, it seems that the two weeks of bliss are over. We are now faced with the regular grind of summer mornings, again.

That was what I thought. A few days ago, I went to get the paper off the front walk and I noticed a back to school flyer advertising all the things that students in public school usually need. Pencils, notebook paper, three-ring binders and calculators were all on sale. I remember feeling as though a weight of stress was crowding in on me. I hate shopping for school supplies, above all things. The atmosphere of the supercenter buzzes with the kind of thick tension that one must feel on a battlefield.

But, suddenly, and oddly in unison with a bright beam of early-morning sunlight that broke through the clouds, I realized that we had gone for school supplies for the last time, last year.

All three of our children had made it through public education. We were no longer obliged to get into a tug of war battle with a lady over No. 2 yellow Faber Castell pencils.

The relief was, I'm sure, palpable for the squirrels and crows in our old oak out front.

I shared the news with my wife, who had already come to that conclusion, herself.

With our youngest shipping off to college in another county, we would be free from the burden to pack lunches, wake grumpy teenagers, bustle them out the door on time, and so on.

Not only did our routine change when the school year ended (as it always has) it stabilized into a new norm. One that will mostly likely be the case for us, for the next few decades.

And so, I suppose that while it may feel as though we're getting back into the same old routine, in actuality, we are embarking on a new leg of our family journey. And while it was wonderful to be with friends and family over the last few weeks, the thing that matters most to me, is that we appreciate every single aspect of our lives together, because routines shift and change, and we often don't realize they're done, until it's too late.

The eventual end of ignorance

Looking around, especially on Social Media, one could find that they are depressed by the constant barrage of arrogance, ignorance, hate and outrage. It seems like everywhere you turn, nowadays, someone is offended by something, or angry about something or trying to rally support for something.

Even people you know, love; even family members, will say something that shocks you about their beliefs, opinions, etc. It has become par for the course.

More than this, if you read a little into the threads of posts, you will see what I have dubbed the Lizard Devolution. As a person is more roundly offended, or on the other side, more full of bloated and opinionated zeal, the quality of the dialog disintegrates into name calling and logic goes out the window.

Inspite of all this, though, I have noticed a trend, especially among friends I follow on Social Media. More and more, they (and myself, too) seem to be eschewing this kind of behavior. They do not participate, and they are removing those who do.

This strange emancipation has lead to another emancipation in the real world. Some people are beginning to see the reality that, if it sounds idiotic, it probably is. They are no longer participating in

But, instead of swelling and becoming universal, this movement toward sanity in dialog has actually caused something rather unnerving to occur. The voices of irrational dialog have grown louder, by turns, and the lunacy of their views have become darker.

This is frightening to some, and I agree it does not seem like a positive thing. But, I will contend with you, that it is the best possible thing.

See, when you single out an ideology as essentially bad for people, the people who follow that ideology get nervous. That nervousness is based on the fear that they may indeed be wrong. But that fear is never something they would admit. Instead, it leads to the bravado and saber rattling of overly self-assured ranting. The ranting is a symptom of fear that what is being touted is actually nothing but a figment of their imagination.

So, there will be a tide of ranting and yelling and Lizard Devolution on threads and comments, and in real life, too. And it may seem to those of us that sanity has left this world.

But in reality, what those of us who love truth are really seeing, is the death throes of ignorance and those who wallow in it. The bliss has gone and fear rules them. That means that there is an eventual end coming to the proliferation of ignorance. Sanity, hope, logic and peace will rule.

In the meantime we must learn to hear those rantings for what they really are: the retreat of ignorance.

What you believe is what you get.

There are things about belief that are reassuring to us. The things we believe can be a comfort to us in a life that is sometimes quite painful and dreary.

The problem with beliefs that comfort us is that we must approach everything with skepticism. We must be willing to change what we believe in order to keep from being enthralled by them.

Too often, a belief can become an obstacle or barrier to us, when it should more reasonably be something that aids in our way through life.

Being hindered by our beliefs is an all too human condition. We fall for some pretty weird ideas, generally, and have the amazing power of being able to believe something with no evidence in support of it, except word of mouth.

And this condition of ours is not black and white. It isn't just those who are gullible or easily fooled who fall for this human trick. I know many rational and enlightened folks who adhere to certain beliefs, not because they cannot see them for what they are, but because the choose not to.

Sometimes our beliefs not only comfort us, but they reinforce other beliefs we have, helping us to stay in a comfortable place, mentally.

However, comfort is not something that we're guaranteed, in this life.

As we go forward, daily, it helps to keep a close watch on our beliefs. Are they helping us, or are they hurting us? Are we free to ask tough questions of ourselves about our beliefs? Are our beliefs reinforcing other convenient beliefs?

You see, if I believe that the government is putting chemicals on jets that are being sprayed over the nation to keep us complacent, that's one thing. But if that belief is reinforced by another that lets me believe we are living in a police state, or that the government is coming to get our guns, or that aliens are really in control, etc. I get caught up in a rather nice net of my own making.

The real trouble then begins. It is when we are faced with evidence contrary to our strongly held beliefs that we have the choice, either to accept what we see at face value and change our position, or continue in self delusion.

Sadly, we aren't likely to seek out things that challenge our beliefs at all. We search out those things that reinforce what we hold most dear.

And so it is that each day, we must be willing to let free our grip on those beliefs, so that we can pare away those that prevent us from experiencing life at its fullest. We must be willing to change our minds, in the face if compelling evidence, rather than refusing to and becoming ensnarled in the web of delusion.