Doubt and Belief

Many of us are convinced that the things we believe to be true are true regardless of whether there is any evidence to support the beliefs.

Some of these beliefs are related to concepts that are difficult to quantify.

I know my wife and sons love me. I believe that they do. The evidence is difficult to procure, because the evidence isn't really tangible. If you ask me how I know for sure, I would be hard pressed to give any real examples.

And yet I still believe they do.

Belief, in this case, is basically in a healthy state. It helps me to believe that they love me.

Sometimes, though, belief can be challenged by many examples of tangible evidence as in when I believe something that is really not true, can be disproved with evidence and yet still believe.

This type of belief is often very harrowing to the one who has it. And very often we need to realize that we each hold these kinds of unhealthy belief.

That is why it is important to keep doubt as a part of our arsenal. Doubt provides a gap for evidence that we might otherwise choose to ignore.

A few days ago I was having a conversation with a family member and they were telling me about a legend that circulates in the reservation in our state. The Indians there tell of a group of smallish woodland warriors that harry the tourists and kidnap children.

The Fox Mulder in me wants to find some explanation that supports this: long list tribe of pigmy Indians, and so forth.

But the reality is, it is probably just a legend. And legends are, by their very fabric, both believable and unbelievable at the same time.

To hold such a belief, though, is harmless, but it is the symptom of a mind that rejects doubt.

My first reaction to this tale was skeptical laughter. My family member reinforced the truth of the tale by claiming he knows some folks who know for sure.

Regardless if there are pigmy tribes in the mountains around Cherokee, we need to temper our innate gullibility with doubt. It may be true, but we had better seek to prove or disprove it. By blindly accepting this, and making it part of the fabric of our world view, we threaten to burden our ability to be incredulous to any and all claims.

If in doubt, it probably isn't true and that's why I always hang on to doubt.

How to not care enough to actually care PT 2

I read recently that it has been scientifically proven that there are two types of people in this world. Those who can be swayed to change their minds with evidence, and those who cannot be swayed to change their mind, regardless of the amount of evidence presented to them.

That is a very disheartening thing for me.

I am sometimes amazed by the fact that I'm surrounded by people who seem to have no ability to think clearly about things that are totally and obviously wrong from my perspective.

I think the thing that affects me so is that most of these people I love and respect deeply. They're either close friends, or close family. How is it then, that they can allow themselves to follow terrible ideologies?

Well, first, I think we need to provide some context.

First of all, in my line of work, I spend a lot of time researching things. I look for facts. I try very hard to make sure the information I give someone is the closest it can be to factual and actual. That can be very difficult, of course, bu one gets the hang of it.

This developed in me a sense of skepticism. I doubt everything, until I can get something that corroborates what I'm being expected to believe first hand.

So when someone tells me that they get their news from a certain TV show, or that they think that This or That is the worst thing ever, my knee-jerk reaction is to take them to several sources that correctly indicate what's actually going on. Which in many cases is exactly the opposite of what they believe.

Oh, I could be a crusader for Truth among my friends and family. And I would quickly alienate everyone.

There are two problems, here. First, I'm entitled to my own opinions. And so are they.
I don't have to like it, but I cannot do anything about it.

The only thing I can do is love those folks, like I have been and continue to be their friend or family. I have no righteous calling to sway them to my side of the boat.

Now, I may be one of those who will change his mind with enough evidence. I suspect that, in some cases, I may be quite stubborn to the evidence, if I don't want to acknowledge it. Who will correct me? No one. They will simply love me for who I am and wait for me to see the light.

I'll return the favor.

It's not important that I think folks are deluding themselves, or are just plain silly in their personal beliefs. It doesn't change a thing, except me. All I can do is try very hard to be accepting of them and support them and wait for them to see things differently.

We really can all get along if we simply don't care enough to actually start caring.

How to not care enough to actually care PT 1.

A friend wrote me recently lamenting how old friends of ours had changed. Mainly one, who, at one point had been a believer and has changed to an atheist.
My wife encouraged me on the matter saying that, regardless of where I was in my own life, I needed to help my friend, if he needed me.

In relaying to him my thoughts on the matter, I found that the best way for me to deal with things like that, like when people who you know and love believe things that disagree with my beliefs is to just not care.

I don't care if my friend is a rabid atheist. I don't care if a friend is a conservative. I don't care if they're slightly racist. I don't care if they want Donald to win for president. I sometimes struggle with the opinions or lifestyles that people have, sometimes, but only out of an inability to reconcile the things in my mind. It has no bearing, no effect on my friendship with them. So I just don't care.

By not caring, I can forego all the internal dialog and get right to being a friend. I simply do not care.

Another friend of mine spent some time trying to win me over to his way of thinking. Gently, but yet with enough force that it was obvious to me. He, of course, knows that I disagree. Nevertheless he continued to try to do what I think he sincerely meant to be helpful.

This tore me up, from the onset, because I had no intention of ever adopting his particular way of thinking. To me, it was outdated, slightly hypocritical and very obtuse. (His way of thinking about this subject, not him).

So I agonized about it. But then I realized that I just didn't care. I realized that I had it within me to let his ideas pass into my head and then back out again. I could smile and say "I never thought of things that way" and let it go. Just to acknowledge another person's ideas doesn't give them strength over me.

And once again, I realized that I didn't care enough to let it really eat at me.

And when I realized that by not caring what a person believes, it actually freed me up to care about them, I suddenly realized that I had been putting the emphasis of my daily interactions on what other people believed or thought, rather than on them.

Suddenly, I was able to care about them.

I realize that certain beliefs or lifestyles may be threatening to you or to your own beliefs or lifestyles. I know that some may just be concerned for dear old friends who have changed a lot.
No matter what, the best and most efficient way to be a super friend, is to just not care and get right on to caring for them.